Moving abroad is often seen as success, but for many Pakistani expats it comes with loneliness, financial pressure, and emotional isolation. This article explores the hidden mental health struggles of life overseas, why success does not protect against depression, and where expats and families can find support.

Moving abroad is frequently framed as the ultimate achievement in Pakistani society. It is the dream of a better life, a stronger currency and a more stable future. However, as psychologist and expat writer Mahwash Ajaz points out in recent discussions, the reality behind the Instagram filters is often much heavier. Before looking at the life of an expat, it is important to understand the gravity of the mental health situation within Pakistan itself. According to figures provided by the Pakistan Psychiatric Society in 2024, an estimated 50 to 55 people in Pakistan take their lives every single day. This is a staggering statistic that highlights a burgeoning crisis, particularly among the youth. Research shows that a vast majority of these cases involve individuals between the ages of 15 and 29.

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In her analysis of these figures, Ajaz notes that it is vital to understand that depression is often rooted in biology. While every human being goes through hardships and life struggles, not everyone reaches the point where they feel they must take their own life.

According to her perspective, we must recognize that this struggle is irrespective of social status, class, gender or age group. There are various intersecting factors that push a person to that extreme, and it is not something to be taken lightly. She emphasizes the importance of addressing these issues in youngsters before they spiral, underlining that this emotional strain does not vanish just because someone crosses a border. In fact, for the diaspora, the pressure to maintain a facade of success often intensifies the internal struggle.

The Hidden Reality of the Expat Dream

When an expat leaves Pakistan, they leave behind an entire ecosystem of emotional support. In the streets of Lahore or Karachi, a person is surrounded by neighbors, extended family and a community that provides a built in safety net. The essence of Pakistani society is being together, no matter how tough things get. We are a people who find strength in the collective. However, once a person lands in a foreign country, that net vanishes. Abroad, people often find themselves profoundly lonely. The simple act of having tea with a friend or venting to a sibling becomes a scheduled event rather than a natural part of the day.

This loneliness is compounded by a reality that many do not talk about back home: the struggle to make ends meet. While family members in Pakistan might see photos of shiny skyscrapers, the expat may be working two or three odd jobs just to pay rent. According to a 2025 Gallup report on migrant well being, a significant portion of the South Asian diaspora in Europe and North America reports feeling overwhelmed by the rising expectations of their families at home. There is a "remittance pressure" that forces many to live in survival mode, sacrificing their own comfort to send money back. This leads to a life of quiet desperation where the individual feels they cannot admit defeat.

Expectations, Failure and the Biological Burden

A third major factor is the crushing weight of unmet expectations. Many young Pakistanis move abroad with a specific timeline for success. When they hit roadblocks, such as visa issues, job rejections or the high cost of living, they view it as a personal failure. This sense of failure is a primary trigger for chronic depression and hopelessness. According to clinical studies from 2024, the "immigrant paradox" suggests that while migrants may initially be healthier than their counterparts at home, their mental health often declines the longer they stay away from their support systems.

It is also crucial to return to the biological basis that Ajaz mentions. Chronic stress from isolation and financial fear can actually change the chemistry of the brain. When a person is in a state of constant survival, their body is flooded with cortisol, which over time can lead to clinical depression that is no longer just about "sadness." It becomes a biological condition that requires professional help. Without the presence of family to notice these changes, many expats fall into a deep hole of hopelessness before anyone even realizes they are struggling.

Breaking the Silence and Finding a Way Forward

Addressing these struggles requires a shift in how we view the expat experience. We must normalize the fact that it is okay not to be okay, even if residing in a "developed" country. For many, the first step is realizing that asking for help is an act of strength. According to clinical experts at the Taskeen Mental Health Initiative, micro communities are essential for survival. Finding even one safe person to talk to in your new city can drastically reduce the risk of severe depressive episodes. It is about creating a "home away from home" that is not based on competition but on genuine vulnerability.

Practical tools are just as vital as emotional ones. Establishing a routine that prioritizes physical activity and limits the comparison loop of social media can help ground an individual. For those who feel more comfortable speaking to someone who understands their specific cultural nuances, tele therapy has become a lifeline. Organizations like Umang Pakistan and Rozan Counseling provide accessible support that bridges the gap between the expat's current location and their cultural roots. Having a counselor who understands the specific weight of family expectations and cultural identity makes a world of difference.

We must remember that a "better life" is only truly better if we are healthy enough to enjoy it. Success should not come at the cost of your soul. By checking in on friends abroad and being honest about our own struggles, we can begin to dismantle the stigma that keeps so many in the dark. The journey across borders is hard enough; we should not have to carry the emotional weight alone. Your story matters, and your health is worth more than any paycheck or promotion.

If You or Someone You Know Needs Help

If you're struggling with anxiety, depression, or thoughts of self-harm, help is available. You don't have to go through this alone.

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